Vision

Our world is rapidly changing and we need to find ways of engaging uncertainty and fear.
As we face finitude and crisis, I want us to be able to retain our ability to cooperate.
I want us to be able to hold love for one another, not succumbing to fear, othering, hatred and violence.

For this we need a culture which supports peace.

Let’s work together

Why I do What I do

I believe in order to make anything we do in the direction of change sustainable (whether it is action to stop wrongs or constructive action to build the future we want to see), we need a supportive culture. The culture we are currently living in is supporting the destruction and depletion of our planet. It also supports violent ways of relating with ourselves and each other, perpetuating pain and suffering. Therefore, we need cultural change and that is what I am working towards.

Nonviolent Communication is a spiritual practice, as meditation can be called a spiritual practice. It’s about observing ourselves, other human beings, our relationships with them and communication with ourselves and them.
NVC puts connection first. This allows people to understand each other at the heart level, making the flow of gifts, of giving and receiving, natural.
With this NVC has a radical potential to bring about change, as it questions currently dominant cultural norms.

Contact me to find out more

Practice Groups and Workshops

Peace starts with each and everyone of us right now.

Practice groups are a way of practicing and integrating what we know on a cognitive level. Together with others we can face the things we find challenging and be held in presence and compassion.

I offer regular open practice groups:

Conflict Facilitation Practice Group: Every first Saturday of the month. More information and sign up here.

Upcoming open workshops:

Register or arrange for a private workshop

Individuals

Life matters:

Do you feel overwhelmed or just need someone to talk to?
Are you struggling with someone in your life and are you longing for respect and care in your relationship?
Do you feel you have to be perfect while sometimes feeling hollow or completely depleted?
Do your children drive you crazy or have they turned away from you?
Do you long for your partner to just get you?

I am happy to offer a compassionate and safe space for exploring the difficult and sometimes painful matters of life. Whether it is conflicts with family, friends or at work; the challenges (polyamous) relationships throw at you or dysfunctional patterns you find yourself in because of fear, shame or trauma:
I can be present with you and offer guidance in your process.

Leadership matters

Would you like to be able to communicate in a way that truly brings others on board?
Do you feel like people disempower themselves in your presence?
Do you want to learn how to effect change for the better in your organisation without having the structural power?

Being in a position of leadership or taking leadership in a specific area comes with its own set of challenges. While taking that position, many eyes are on you and continuously holding the whole can become challenging. I can help you communicate more clearly, oriented towards vision and purpose. I can help you meet those you lead or are aiming to lead with enough curiosity and acceptance so that magic can happen. Being connected and approachable while at the same time being focused on purpose and having clear discernment are not mutually exclusive and I can help you embody that.

Schedule a free consultation

Relationship

Do you long for togetherness with another person, but again and again you end up in arguments or disconnection?
Is there jealousy you don’t know how to be with that is eating up your relationship?
Do you feel desperate and sometimes think it’s impossible to agree on something together?

Whether you are in an intimate relationship, a friendship, polyamorous, neighbourly or in family relationships, sometimes these relationships can become painful or are outright disfunctional. As human beings we can only fully become ourselves in relationship with others. Relationships are both the biggest threat to safety at times and the greatest window for healing.
I can help restore connection, understanding and trust. It does not always happen quickly and the process can feel intense. If both (all) of you want it, I can facilitate the dialogue between you.

I have personal experience with being in polyamorous relationships. I want to offer my experience, skills and insights for people people being in (or open to) consensual, intimate and caring connection with multiple people. My experience tells me that these relationships can bring out a lot and have a lot of potential for personal and collective healing of past traumas. At the same time our own traumas sometimes get in the way and block us from having the connection and intimacy we long for. I’d be honored to accompany you and offer empathy as well as work with you on shifting communication patterns.

Schedule a free consultation

Groups

Do you anticipate that conflict might tear you apart or are you already experiencing conflict?
Would you like to find ways of supporting togetherness and engaging conflict effectively?
Do you want to find ways of leaving society’s disfunctional default solutions behind and creating ways of being and working together that support your vision?
Do you long for accompanyment along the way from someone who isn’t as closely involved?

For groups who are working or living together (or intending to do so), I offer different packages depending on what you need.
I am able to support you with existing conflicts, help you shape systems to hold you in the future, or work with you to increase harmony and build a shared vision.

Take a look at the packages I offer

Businesses

Would you like to resolve tensions within a team?
Do you want to find out what is hindering the progress you have been longing to see with your project?
Would you like to create an environment in which your employees enjoy working?
Have you wondered why feedback within your organisation is not following the way you think would be good?
Would you like professional facilitation for your meeting(s)?

Running a business brings with it the collaboration and coordination between potentially many human beings. Blockages in relationships or unclear or missing agreements for feedback, decision making or distribution of resources can become blockages to success for the whole organisation.
Therefore, I offer workshops and support for developing leadership skills, improving social skills, sharpening your vision and purpose and building systems that serve your business. I can lend you my eyes and ears to compile for you my perspective on what I see working well and areas of potential.

Take a look at the packages I offer

Upcoming Events

Would you like to meet me to get to know me?
I will be at these upcoming events:

Braziers Community Conference. 21st - 23rd of July 2023
NVC Camp South West. 25th of July - 1st of August 2023
Annual Gathering of NVC Sharers. 9th of November - 12th of November 2023

You can also find NVC events by me and other NVC trainers here: nvc-uk.com

About Me

I have been studying and teaching about NVC since 2014, just before my daughter was born. Now, I’m living in a yurt in rural Wales together with my partner Nicco and our two children. In 2020 we moved here from Germany.

I have a Master of Science in IT-Systems Engineering, which means I have learned how to develop software. As I was doing that, I discovered for myself the vanity of writing software, because software does not touch on the deep emotional and social problems we struggle with. At best it utilizes human psychology to capitalize on us, or streamlines buerocratic processes. And because I am a radical, I have turned my back on software development and have turned to NVC and understanding human beings in a holistic way.

My eduction in software development has trained me for designing systems, clear communication as well as quick iterations and trying things out.

In some ways I have been lucky, because I started my journey of integration and healing when I was about 15 years old. A man wiser than me, was able to meet me and hold up a mirror for me to see. He told me that if I would continue on the path I was on (stark rationality, shut-down of feelings and deemphasis of relationships) I would not be happy. At first I was angry at him, but the truth shone through for me and I conceded he was right. I set out on my journey to reclaim my emotions and rediscover myself. When I came in contact with NVC in 2014 it felt like coming home and finally finding oxygen.

Since then I have learned a lot. Most notably about shame and vulnerability. I have been particularly interested in interpersonal neurobiology (attachment theory, polyvagal theory…) as a result I have reclaimed a portion of my authenticity. Social justice is a topic that has always been dear to me and equality of worth is one of my core values. My approach in meeting the deep need of justice - which everyone carries - has been my engagement with Restorative Circles, the work of Dominic Barter and my engagement with Nonviolent Global Liberation, the work of Miki Kashtan. I’m passionate about finding different ways of engaging which allow us to be together more and more of the time in a loving and collaborative way.

Since 2020 I’m living in rural Wales together with my family. I have two wonderful children who are 7 and 4 years old and I have my amazing partner Nicco, with whom I have been for over 10 years now. We live off-grid in a yurt and enjoy a very simple lifestyle, which has taught me a lot.

Education and important milestones

Start	End	What
2010	2013	Bachelor of Science in IT-Systems Engineering at Hasso Plattner Institute. Potsdam, Germany
2013	2017	Master of Science in IT-Systems Engineering at Hasso Plattner Institute. Potsdam, Germany
2014		Birth of my daughter.
2016	2016	Open Knowledge Leaders Program led by Rufus Pollok
2016	2017	Practice groups with Astrid Schütte
2017	2019	PhD Student at Lehrstuhl für Wirschaftsinformatik Prof. Dr. Ing. Norbert Gronau. Potsdam, Germany
2017	2017	Year-long training in NVC with Christian Hinrichsen. 21 days of deep integration of NVC in a small group. Wartaweil, Germany
2017		Birth of my son.
2018		Introduction to Focussing after Eugene Gendlin with Astrid Schütte
2018	2019	Leading a bi-weekly NVC practice group at Universität Potsdam.
2018		Nonviolent Global Liberation 6-day residential retreat with Miki Kashtan, Verene Nicholas, Sabine Geiger and others, Poland.
2018	today	Member of the online learning community “Nonviolent Global Liberation” founded by Miki Kashtan (CNVC certified trainer and international speaker)
2018		Workshop about Shame with Liv Larsson for 4 days. Berlin, Germany.
2018		Nonviolent Communication IIT in Birmingham with Robert Gonzales, Gina Lawrie, Shona Cameron, Roxy Manning, Carl Plesner and others. Brimingham, UK.
2019	2020	Apllication for an Erasmus+ Grant for the project “Seeds of Nonviolence” to take people to Denmark to receive training in Nonviolence, NVC and village mindedness. Funding of 49023€ was awarded and the project happend led by me under the umbrella of frekonale e.V., partly hindered through COVID in 2020.
2019	2020	Monthly Practice Group for Restorative Circles with Annett Zupke. Berlin, Germany
2019	2020	Activism with Extinction Rebellion Berlin/Germany in the Regenerative Culture Working Group. I founded the de-escalation team, co-founded the conflict engagement team and co-founded the emotional first aid team. I also ran an online Restorative Cicles Practice group and was part of the central police contact group for the rebellion wave in Berlin in October 2019.
2019		Nonviolent Global Liberation 6-day residential retreat with Miki Kashtan, Verene Nicholas, Uma Lo and others, Poland.
2019	2020	Member of the Awareness Team for the Chaos Communication Camp and Congress.
2021	today	Volunteering for NVC Matters UK CIC, who are operating using Holacracy. Roles currently filled: Fundraising Co-ordinator, Fundraiser, Secretary in 3 circles, Vision Co-ordinator, Fight Club Supremo

Testimonials

I really appreciate what I experience as your relaxed, confident clarity with attention to detail. I’m remembering your conflict transformation skills, persistence and courage as I see it from when we were together at camp in the summer. I’m also seeing you as incredibly resourceful […] Annie Scott, NVC Trainer

I’m really enjoying participating in the practice group that Kirstin facilitates - it meets my need for challenge, discovery, growth, to learn, for stimulation and empathy - within an environment where I feel safe and at ease. I notice that Kirstin’s honesty and openness both by email and during the sessions encourages others to contribute likewise. Kirstin seems knowledgeable and confident, always providing constructive feedback on our practice of conflict facilitation which enables me to discover, grow, learn etc.. JoW, Conflict Facilitation Practice Group Participant

Vision

Conflict Facilitation Practice Group

Upcoming Open Workshops

Sessions for Individuals

Sessions for People in Relationships

Sessions for Groups Working or Living Together

Offers for Businesses