Obsessive relationships




The other person gives messages that get interpreted as: I don’t know whether you love me truly more attention goes into thinking about the relationship all thoughts are focussed around the relationship happiness becomes defined as: when the relationship is well unhappiness becomes defined as: when the relationship is not well when the other person doesn’t give as much attention it gets easily identified as withdrawal giving attention is seen as something the other person asked for and invited sole purpose of life becomes the relationship and maintaining it


What’s needed to heal

What to do to overcome

  1. Recognize that it’s happening
  2. notice negative effects it’s having on life and other relationships
  3. Recognize afterwards that it has happened
  4. Recognize when i’s happening
  5. Find alternative things to intentionally focus on
  6. do things that resource self, are fun and ejoyable
  7. grieve the effect it has had (many times)
  8. grieve for how you have benn hurt/not had what you need leading to this pattern