Navigating Conflict with Confidence and Skill
Conflict And You
On the first weekend of August I needed all my skills for staying present and listening with my heart, even as I may find some bits painful. My girlfriend had told me she wanted to break up and I needed all my skills in reflecting about myself and admitting to painful truths about myself and how I show up. Vulnerability is the birthplace of intimacy. Since I was longing for intimacy, I knew I needed to go to the places I felt unsure and insecure about, show my heart and let go of protecting my ego.
Relationships are tough, because we are all vulnerable, easily hurt and reminded of painful experiences from the past. And who will hold us when we both find ourselves in the place of hurt? I’m happy that even though it’s far from perfect, I am able to hold myself and the other person. I can hold myself well enough so that I can be fully present with the other - until I’m not able to do that. An exhaustion of my capacity that I am not very good at spotting yet. Luckily we were able to come through together over time.
Learning NVC and learning about myself in conflicts has contributed massively to my ability to not completely lose my head and mostly keep my focus on connection in difficult conversations. Jo McHale and I will be offering a 10 week in-depth course that is designed to accompany you on your journey to leading more satisfying conversations and having more fulfilling relationships whether they are romantic, family or work related. And I know I will continue learning alongside you.
If this sounds appealing, we would love you to join us. Together, we can spread connection and understanding, one conversation at a time.
Ready to book your place? Jump right in
Format
Ten weekly two hour sessions, on Zoom
Time
13.00 – 15.00 UK time
(NB In the UK, BST ends on 29th October and clocks go back one hour, to GMT)
Dates
10 Tuesdays starting 12th September and finishing 14th November
Register here
Content
Your experience of conflict
- What it means to you
- How you feel about it
- How you habitually handle it
- What you would like to do differently, and how you would like to be when conflict arises
Managing yourself in conflicts
- Understanding the physiological aspects of being in a state of conflict
- Recognising historical attachment wounds and how they play out in your current life
- Managing intense emotions in yourself such as anger, guilt and shame
- Staying present and grounded, even when others are expressing their strong feelings
- Looking for the grain of truth in whatever is coming at you that you experience as hurtful
- How to use self-empathy and empathy for others as ways to increase connection
- Using dialogue skills (reflecting back what you’ve heard; expressing your own feelings and needs; separating needs from strategies for meeting needs; checking for understanding; making requests, not demands) to build connection and understanding
After conflict
- Learning from the experience
- Repairing the ruptures
- Giving and receiving apologies
Outcomes
The programme offers you:
- A deeper understanding of what conflict is and how it features in your life
- Insights into your own fears about conflict and your habitual ways of dealing with it
- An opportunity to practise skills that are essential for managing conflict
- Support in planning how to continue developing a mindset that sees conflict as contributing to your growth and learning
How the programme will run
The sessions will be as experiential as possible – no long periods in which you just sit and listen.
We will offer short inputs and invite you to work in small groups to:
- Discuss concepts
- Share your experiences
- Practice skills
We will provide you with a Workbook as a companion to the course. This will give you a record of our inputs and activities as well as space for your own journalling and note-taking from the experiences you have in the sessions.
This workshop series is run by the Conflict Transformation Weave (CTW). CTW is a part of the community interest company NVC Matters UK CIC.